Day19

The three of us met on the school roof almost every day. There were some days when Yumi wouldn’t join us, probably because of homework. The times we’ve spent together were kind of awkward for me and Yumi. With Miya talking to Yumi as if they’ve been friends for a long time, Yumi was able to get used to being with her easily. Sadly, I wasn’t able to do what Miya had been doing, so a gap between Yumi and me remained. I guess Miya knew that. She often acted as the bridge between us, asking some questions that would allow us to talk to each other for a bit. But the conversations never lasted long.

It had been like that until this afternoon. Miya was absent for the day, so I thought I would just go home after classes. During lunch time, I realized that I should let Yumi know we weren’t meeting on the school roof after classes. I tried looking around for her outside the first years’ classroom after I finished my lunch. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find her. Not feeling like asking around, I thought of just telling her after classes.

The dismissal bell rang and I proceeded to the school roof. For a moment, I thought I saw Miya in her usual spot, waiting for me. I quickly realized that it was Yumi who was standing there. Yumi turned to me shortly after I arrived.

“Miya’s absent today, so she won’t be here,” I told her.

Yumi gave me a nod in reply. I was about to turn around and leave when I heard her ask, “So, you’re going?” her eyes were fixed at me.

That question stopped me. It suddenly dawned on me that despite all the time we spent together, I never really saw Yumi as my friend. Being alone in her class all that time, my merely being with her was probably enough for her to see me as a friend. All these time, only Miya was able to really give her the friendship we both wanted for her.

I closed the door behind me, acting as if I wasn't planning to leave in the first place. “No, but I guess it’ll just be the two of us today,” I answered. I walked to her left, my usual spot.

Yumi nodded, smiled, and turned back to the scenery. “Must be pretty boring for you,” she giggled.

“Let’s see who will bore the other,” I laughed. I leaned on the railing upon reaching it. Looking at the scenery, feeling the wind blow against me, I’ve felt as if I was with Miya.

“I’m afraid that’s a competition you cannot win. You can’t possibly bore me,” she turned to me with a smile.

“Hmph, we’ll see…” I replied, still looking at the scenery. I was happy if I could entertain her even just a little. Sadly, I couldn’t come up with anything else to talk about.

“School ends in a month…” I heard her whisper. Smiling to me, she asked, “We don’t have much time left, do we.”
That thought depressed me. After Miya and I graduate, Yumi’s going to be alone again. Hopefully, she would be able to find some friends. But I was afraid that might not happen.

“Izaki-sempai, would you listen to my story?” she asked.

I turned to her, only to see a depressed Yumi. All I could do for her was to listen to her. “Of course,” I answered.

What I’ve heard after that was similar to the story Miya shared, but a little more complete.

Just like me, Yumi never had a father. Her father left her mother shortly after their marriage, when her mother was pregnant, in order to go after some other girl. Yumi’s mother resented that.

Yumi’s mother wanted to prevent her daughter from suffering the same fate. Her chosen action was to keep Yumi from talking to boys as much as possible. From primary school to early middle school, her mother scolded her whenever she was seen being friendly to a boy. Her mother soon realized that it was a mistake to do so, but it had already been too late. Every time a boy approached Yumi, Yumi felt afraid to talk to the boy, much more to become friends with him.

“I spent most of my first year in high school like that. I’ve had a few female friends in middle school, but none of them went to this school. I was convinced I was going to be alone. But there was a time when I bumped into a guy,” she laughed softly. “He was hurrying to go to the school roof after classes, for some reason. He didn’t try to become friends with me, he didn’t even try to know me. But…” she paused. “For some reason, I didn’t want to just pass by him. I didn’t want everything to end with just a touch,” her voice started to crack.

My mind told me that this wasn’t going to end well. But I felt that I should really just let her finish her story. I just listened without even turning to look at her.

“Before he could leave, I was able to summon up the strength to ask him for his name. I guess you already know his answer… After all, it was you.” She stopped to take a few breaths before continuing. “After that time, I would hide in a room, waiting for him to pass by. Then after he did, I would decide if I would follow him to the school roof. But when I was early, I always saw a girl pass by before him. I realized she must have been very special for him to come meet her every day,” she started sobbing. “B-but I couldn’t accept that. I found out I really like this guy.”

My mind was screaming at me. The girl beside me was giving me a confession of her feelings. I wondered if I should tell her I can’t accept her feelings as I already have Miya. But I was afraid of what saying that might do to her. I remained silent, hoping maybe she would say that she realized she didn’t like me after all, or something like that.

Pausing for a bit again, her voice calmed down. “There was a time when classes finished early. I found myself standing below the stairs, leading to the roof, just staring at the door. I thought that maybe I should just go up there and when the other girl arrived, I would somehow make her leave. That way, I could be alone with him.” She gave a soft, small laugh. “I was engrossed in my own selfish thoughts. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and brought me back to reality. She was very nice to me, unaware of the thoughts that were in my head earlier.” She stopped there for a while.

I wondered if it was time for me to say something. But she was the one who did. “Ne,” she called. “Do you love Miya-sempai?”

I turned to her to answer. She was leaning on the hand rail. Her eyes were blocked by the bangs of her hair, but I noticed a stream of dried tears on her cheek. There was an awkward smile on her lips, as if she was really forcing herself to smile. I had to answer. “I do…” I whispered.

“That’s good.” She turned to me with a smile, her cheeks were red and dry tears remained on them. “She’s a really nice girl…” She turned to face the scenery once more. “I wish I could become strong like her someday."

If Miya had been there with us, she would have hugged her after hearing her story. As Miya wasn’t there, I felt it was my duty to do it. I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her small body. I don’t think it would matter if she didn’t want a hug from me, nor if she even needed one. While holding her, I realized it was me who really needed a hug.

I felt her shaking arms wrap around me. “I know I don’t deserve it. I never deserved kindness from you nor from Miya-sempai. But if it’s okay… if it’s not so much to ask…” her voice shook.

“Don’t be stupid…” I whispered. “Miya and I would do anything for you.”

Her arms, wrapped around me, tightened. After a while, I heard her voice again. “Please let me continue being with you two.”

I moved my arms to my shoulder and she inched away from me. “Silly, you don’t even need to ask.” I wiped the dry tears from her cheek.

“Thank you…” she whispered.