Day9

I was born with only one parent. My dad passed away before even finding out that my mom was pregnant. Don’t get me wrong. I’m pretty happy with my life. My mother works as a professional accountant in a well-known company. I never heard her complain about how hard it has been for her, and she’s been providing for the two of us. The least I could do for her was to do my best in my studies, so in the future, I could provide for her and the family I might have.

I’m quite satisfied with having a single parent. But that didn't mean that I didn't want to try having a complete family. There are times that my mother is too busy at work that she couldn’t be with me in my moments of glory, like my graduation from primary and secondary school. I always thought that if I had two parents, at least one of them would be around to witness those times. Watching my classmates get their picture taken with their parents left me more than a little depressed. During these moments, I tried to cope by telling myself that my mom needed to work to let me experience more successes like these. It often made me feel better; but those moments of success without her really didn’t feel complete.

I guess what I really wanted was to be with someone. I didn’t want to feel alone anymore. I wanted someone to be there with me in my happiest moments, and someone to lean on to in my saddest ones. And that’s the reason why I wanted to be with Miya so much. Being with her every afternoon to share my feelings and thoughts with made me happier than I ever did.

Maybe I overdid it. Maybe I clung to her so much that I began smothering her. Maybe that was the reason why she seemed to be distancing herself from me. I’m not really sure.

It’s the end of the semester. After Christmas break, I should try my best to give her some space. I just wish that one day we can be together again like before.